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I really enjoyed your home page and introduction. The Home page really draws the reader in and the images help the reader to dive into “The Labyrinth”. I think that the second image on the Introduction page could be a little bit smaller. As it is, it breaks up the intro and I think it would flow a bit better if the image didn’t take up so much space. For me, it took up an entire frame.
I think that the intro is almost like an author’s note all on its own, so I see why you didn’t have one for this week, but will you be putting author’s notes after the stories? Or maybe on a separate page? It’s exciting that I can’t quite figure out what kind of stories you will be telling, I like watching them unfold before my eyes.
I am really excited to see where your stories lead!
I really loved the image you chose on your home page, and the text that you had accompanying it made me want to read further in your website. To be honest, even though your introduction seemed interesting, I felt that you might have been a bit too vague for your readers to really get what’s going on. I think the philosophical, dreamscape exploration tone is intriguing, but even after reading the introduction I didn’t feel as though I knew what this website was going to be about, or what I should expect from it going forward. Is it going to be a “choose your own adventure” style of story, where you’ll have word prompts and the reader can kind of “play” their way through the story to find out which path they’ve ended up on? Or are you going to have three actual stories to reflect those paths, and the reader is just supposed to imagine a labyrinth as they read them? While the idea seems interesting, I think it would be helpful if you offer a somewhat clearer description of what this website is going to be, so that your readers will feel confident enough about what they’re getting themselves into to click on that next page. Good luck with your storybook!
Hello again, Cate! It looks like your storybook project is moving along nicely. The layout and imagery is clean and well-structured—it’s important for the viewer to be able to navigate a website and recognize its theme easily. In that regard, I think you have a great design! That’s my perspective as an artist, anyway.
I love the idea of labyrinths, mazes and puzzles. It’s an entertaining form of exploration that comes with its own mystique, but not so challenging that it isn’t enjoyable. It’s like reading a good mystery novel—the reader is having fun trying to solve the mystery piece by piece, while still being left in suspense for the final climax. In that sense, I wonder what style of writing you will use for “The Labyrinth?” How will you present these stories, and what should the reader expect? What are your goals for this project? These are the questions I would focus on going forward. All in all, I can’t wait to see how this storybook comes to life!
Hi Cate! First, your title is very engaging, and once I read it among the other storybook titles, I was immediately drawn to it! Once I reached your website, I was again interested with all of your images. When it comes to the presentation of your storybook, I think you did it all amazingly! Reading your introduction was pretty mysterious and interesting, but I have to agree with Allison’s comment above. I am kind of unsure of what the storybook will explore exactly. Is the storybook some puzzle like a labyrinth or are you going to explore the labyrinth from Greek mythology? I think adding some more details to what stories you will explore would reduce this vagueness and help the reader better understand the premise of your storybook. Also your comment wall is very unique in how it is set up which separates it from other projects. Overall, great storybook!
I clicked on your storybook link and my jaw dropped!! I was very intrigued by your home page and felt compelled to read your introduction and now all I want is more!!! I am very impressed with your set up and it is one of the most creative story books I have seen so far. I love how you invite your readers to come dream with you and there are three paths in the labyrinth to choose from (I assume those will be the stories). I am intrigued to see where these three paths take me as I read the subconscious thoughts. I find your idea very interesting and I cannot wait to explore my subconscious as I read your stories haha! I hope you make all your stories thorough and with lots of detail. After reading your introduction, I can already visualize the types of things I will see as I read.
I really like your idea behind the labyrinth theme for your storybook. I just read your introduction and I think you did a great job with the layout by providing multiple imagery and using different areas of the page for the content. The opening few sentences are fantastic! You do a great job of building an instant connection with the audience and give them a good reason to read your stories which has a sense of adventure. I think it would help to tell the audience what mythological sirens are and how they relate to this idea of a labyrinth. Also how is each siren different from one another and what can I expect from each siren? I think abstract statements for the beginning and end are good but the middle should have more concrete examples of what the reader can expect. It seems really interesting though and I’m looking forward to your stories!
How cool! I love that you’ve chosen to use Twine to make something with a choose-your-own-adventure flavor, and the mysterious atmosphere you set up with your introduction only serves to improve that.
So far, I’ll admit that while I very much like the atmosphere you’ve cultivated with your writing — you have a great control of diction and style! — I don’t really understand the story so far. Do I know who the Shadow is? Or am I insisting to see them solely out of curiosity? What happened when I chose the hat? Am I in some kind of test? A vision?
I like the very ambiguous style — I don’t mean that you need to make everything straightforward — just maybe add a little more clarity, perhaps in your introduction if you don’t want to change the story itself?
I’m a big fan of this format and am excited to see what else you do with it!
I literally am at a loss of words. Your decent into the underworld story is probably the best thing I will read throughout this entire class. To be completely honest I will make a point to come back to this storybook with every new update and every new addition because of how much I enjoyed this journey I just went on. You made me feel as if I was truly living through this story. I absolutely loved the way you put multiple different stories within the main story. One second I was traveling through the underworld and the next I was a developing caterpillar on the side of a tree during a storm. The journey you took me on was amazing and I feel better having taken it.
If this is something you are interested in doing professionally, do it. You’re amazing.
I have to say I loved your home page of your website. It really pulled me in with the suspenseful writing on the first page. The introduction page I find to be quite interesting. I loved the pictures you used and also the description for the labyrinth. It made me really interested to read what you would do in creating a story including a labyrinth. It was weird but reading the last paragraph while at the same time occasionally glancing at the picture to the right of it kind of reminded me of what it is like walking through those Halloween amusement tunnels that are all kinds of colors and put you in a trance. Upon reading your story I understood more of what you were going for. I also enjoy the information you gave in the author’s note which helped me figure out a bit more about what you were going for. I look forward to reading more from you!
I think the choose your own story aspect of your project is great. I really liked the interactive element and it made the story more engaging. I was sort of confused on the cathartic path after choosing my first piece of power. No matter which option you choose it seems like you enter some kind of flashback. I found it to be kind of confusing and made me feel like I had no idea what was happening and want to go back and start over. You might want to add some kind of transition sentence at the beginning of the flashback indicating that it is either a memory that is being resurfaced or some kind of abstract test. I also found myself wondering how did I get into the labyrinth? Do I really need to get through it? You might considering trying to add that sort of information to your introduction but overall your storybook was really exciting and seems to be coming along great
Hi, Cate! It seems like you’re handling this assignment very well! I always enjoy seeing how your storybook has progressed since the last time I’ve read it. I’m positive you’ll have it done in no time!
Regarding the use of the Twine application, or the “choose your own adventure” type of writing, I personally love it! I think you have a good amount of writing and story options for the reader to enjoy. My only concern is how this will play into your other stories, in the way that you have so many options. Will it be like a video game, where your choices affect the ending of the story? Or will the reader be lead to the same conclusion one way or another, regardless of the consequences? Are there any consequences for choosing a “right” or “wrong” option? These are the questions I would ask while writing this storybook.
Alternatively, if you already have a plan, then I’d say you’re good to go! Either way, I can’t wait to see what happens next in “The Labyrinth.”
I gotta say, I was pretty blown away by the story you made. First of all, the plot was great and I was interested the entire time. I loved how you based it on the idea of the labyrinth but also went outside of that and took creative liberties. I saw a lot of things that I could use in my own writings to make them stronger. Secondly, the presentation was incredible for your storybook. The fading of the text fit perfectly with the decent into the underworld. and the choose your own adventure was absolute genius! The fact that you came up with that is so impressive, and it really adds something to the story that many other stories do not have. I love the idea that the reader is actually interacting with the text. I cannot wait to read more of this storybook, and more of your posts in general!
Your story is absolutely incredible. I also think your website is great! It is organized well and the theme matches well with your story. The presentation of the text and story in general was well done and extremely creative. I think the use of Twine was awesome. It makes the story extremely interactive. It is definitely a wow moment. I wonder how you are going to transition from one story to another. Also, is there only one ending or will there be multiple? I wonder if there is a right ending and wrong endings. Will the reader have to start over if the select the wrong option? There are so many ways to finish this story. I think you have a great start and I am curious to see where it goes from here! Thank you for creating this story. It has inspired me to play around with Twine. It looks interesting!
Hey Cate! I was genuinely blown away by the world you were able to create in your storybook. Your attention to detail and your dedication to making sure every location and moment was described in the utmost sensory detail were not gone unnoticed. I also loved the idea that the labyrinth was actually the reader’s own mind rather than a physical labyrinth and that the monster that had to be conquered at the end was the reader’s own id. I’m tempted to go back and read through every dead end just so I can experience your storybook again! How did you choose the options for the different “powers” the reader could give up? And how did you decide how to craft stories around those powers? A little bit more clarity on those decisions would have been fascinating to read about in the author’s note. Regardless, reading your storybook was a thoroughly enjoyable experience!
I’ve read multiple great stories in this class and seen some really cool storybooks, but this is (in my opinion) the best one by FAR. I don’t if everyone will appreciate your Labyrinth like I did, but it is an awesome concept and you executed it so well. The descriptive sentences are vivid and really drew me into the experience. Having choices, almost like an RPG video game, helped make the narrative feel personal to me. There were so many sentences that blew me away! “Nothingness is neither profound nor insignificant. It is simply neutral nonbeing” in particular seriously impressed me. Have you thought about including images that would appear at certain points in the story, maybe when choices are presented to readers? The confrontation with the Shadow was so well done and parts of it almost read like an internal, intense therapy session for the protagonist. The level of creative thought and detail you included really blew me away, this must have taken several hours to create! Your writing was engaging and the layout of the site was compelling. Keep up the amazing work, this storybook is truly awesome.
Wow I am in complete shock after reading your Introduction. Your use of imagery is simply amazing. I love how your storybook is set up – it goes with your theme so nicely!! I think that the only thing I would maybe change would be the size of your images. Although they are perfect for the theme, I believe they may be a little too large. Your first story was breathtaking!! I love your dark, mysterious theme, and I cannot wait to come back and see what you add in the future!!
I really like how you setup your storybook. I would go as far as to say this is the best one I have seen so far. The interactive element really gives you an edge that other storybooks haven’t touched on. You give off the feeling that the the reader’s chose matters. This feeling is enough to greatly pull in your readers and make them more engaged. Your introduction is superb too. It does a perfect job of telling me what I should expect out of your storybook. My favorite thing about your storybook is how it feels like we the readers are going on a real adventure. Not only this, but your verbiage is very impressive. There were many times I was reading this and would re-read a sentence just because of how thought provoking it was. I wish you the best as you continue to add to this storybook, and expect it to be the best one. Good luck on the rest!
So far I think you have done a great job with your storybook. You have the most interactive of all the storybooks I have seen so far, so good job! I really like how you have set your story up like an actually labyrinth and I think that shows are great level of creativity. I do think maybe in your author’s note you could explain the image that is displayed throughout your storybook multiple times from Black Mirror. The only reason I know what that image is, is because I have watched that show, so maybe you could include that background information for people who need it. I know that image appears for the first time in the regular season on an episode titled “White Bear.” We then see the image explained in more depth in the interactive Netflix film “Black Mirror: Bandersnatch.” Overall, great job, I was really impressed.
WOW! Where do I start? This was such an impressive and engaging storybook and I am sure you have gotten some amazing feedback already.
This was such a unique idea, and I love the use of different elements from Black Mirror, I LOVE that show! I love the different images you chose, they each add a special aspect that demonstrates how this really is a choose your own adventure. One comment about the difference in the images, however, was that it was a tad confusing understanding exactly the setting we would be entering just because they were so different! If that was the intent was to leave the viewer in wonder, however, then great job!
I think the images you did choose do a good job of elaborating on your words. They pair together very well and that is not something most people can do – so I applaud you! Great work and I will for sure be revisiting this page.
I came back to see the Labyrinth that you created, and needless to say, I was not disappointed! Your talent for writing shows through your excellent attention to detail, creating a clear vision of the scene for the reader. Walking down stairs along a stone wall into the darkness and coming upon a gate with blue torches reminds me of elements from previous movies. There’s no way I’m walking all that way to turn back now, of course I’m going to enter! The gatekeeper seemed to change her mind pretty easily. I wonder what would happen if I had to tell her why I needed to see the Shadow so badly. Sorry but I’m not just going to shed pieces of my power without any incentive so I’m going to go back. I think the reader should know a little about what’s going on and have a pretty strong incentive to enter the Underworld, or at least when they try to go back make a door behind them close so that they’re forced to enter the Underworld. I know there’s a ton more content than this but that’s all the feedback I can provide for now!
Wow! This was such an innovative and unique storybook style and idea. I loved how you analyzed the psychological nature of mythological themes and how our lives are manifested into mythology as dreams. Your introduction brought up interesting points that are relatable and relevant to every reader. Your usage of images and symbols was very creative. First of all, I love how you added a distinct logo for the page. It is simple, yet it is a great way to accessorize your pages. Your page is full of images which embody the original story of which your version is based off of. Perhaps it would also be beneficial to add images that are embrace your retelling of the story more, rather than the original version. I love how the reader is given options and interactive tools when reading. Although your story itself does not have images, in my opinion, the dark colors along with the feature of reading choices appeals to the imagery of the underworld you are cultivating.
Fantastic job, and I cannot wait to read more!
Hello Cate!! To start I really like what you have done with your theme. I honestly have no idea how you did it, but I think it is unique and so awesome! I love that it is so easy to read and follow your story. You have dialogue and detail. The theme of storybook also provides your readers with options to continue or “go back” and I think that is super creative. This feature also draws me in and make me want to “go on” each time. However, I do not really remember why I entered the labyrinth, so it might be helpful to restate the intentions of the labyrinth at the beginning.
I am also in awe of the detail that your added. The gate features and the sounds it makes. What is draping on the walls and lining the floors.
How can I go back to the previous page without going back to the beginning? That was the only thing that I suggest you change. I tried to go back a page to explore the other option of what power to relinquish and I could not go back. Besides that, I am very impressed by your work and I cannot wait to read more.
Hi Cate! I was absolutely blown away by your project. I have used Twine personally for other things, and I love working with it, but I know how complicated it can be to work with so kudos to you! I thought the imagery on the main website was wonderful, and the simplicity of the labyrinth page really let me focus on the words. Also, your imagery was absolutely beautiful.
Like Caitlin said, a back button could be a good idea just for the fun of it. I like that if you choose “wrong” (aka cling to your old life) it spits you back out to the start, because that makes sense. But it would be easier to explore if we could go back and choose different options!
Today’s feedback is supposed to focus on the author’s note, and I have absolutely no advice to offer. Your note is the most detailed one I have ever read, and I loved all the background it gave me. Wonderful job! You are such a fantastic writer all around.
All I can say is Wow! This storybook is all around amazing. I love how interactive it is. This gets the readers more involved! It reminds me of the early computer games where you would have to click on suggestions or type questions and answers to get around the world. I feel that no one will ever get bored reading your stories because they are so much fun. I thought it was fun to have everything contained in an interactive story. Also, having a whole page dedicated to the authors note is fantastic. I feel with that style I can really focus on what you changed and how you came up with the idea to create your storybook. No lie, often I don’t read the authors note and just skip it. With the way you have it structured it makes it seem very important that we read that. Overall, I really enjoyed the whole experience! Keep up the great work!
Hi Cate! Your Labyrinth project is very creative! Have you taken psychology? This project made me remember why I love it so much! I love the different pathways you created and the effects of each decision. My favorite part involved when to take off the crysalis/armor. If you take it off too early, you lose your protection and leave yourself vulnerable. However, if you stick to keeping it, the protection holds you down and harms more than helps. I thought this was an excellent commentary of the pains of change and loss and knowing when to let go. The twist of the Shadow being your id hit me hard. We certainly all have our jagged edges in your personalities and parts of our selves we’d rather suppress. However, those rough edges serve as protection from an often too cruel world. It’s when you decide to understand and accept all of ourselves that we have the power to improve. An amazing job! I didn’t see anything that needed fixing with your author’s note or your story itself, so I hope my positive feedback helps you understand your strengths.
I have commented on your storybook before, in fact, I was the first one! I am so glad I came back to read your storybook. Although, I don’t think ‘read’ is the right term in this circumstance. I feel that I experienced it more than I passively read. I stated before that this idea was so cool and there were so many possibilities, but you have blown all of my expectations out of the water. I seriously had to go over our site multiple times to try to see if there was anything I should suggest because I hate just leaving praise on people’s work. However, the only thing I can suggest is in your author’s note, you mention actualization. I think that readers may benefit from a bit of an explanation. I love the image but it isn’t obvious from our view that the diagram has anything to do with actualization.
I truly enjoyed experiencing this storybook project.
This is the second time I have visited your page! I have to say, I am equally impressed with the visuals you used and the overall design of the website. It is by far the most professional looking site I have seen in this class, and I think it’s great that you used OUCreate, as it’s a great resource for students here. This storybook was so different than simply writing stories, and adding the interaction makes the story so much more interesting. I wonder how you planned out the entire system, as there are so many different options and routes that this storybook can go. My favorite thing about this was the fact that I could go through the story multiple times and get to multiple endings. It actually reminded me a lot of Black Mirror’s Bandersnatch episode. It makes things a lot more enticing, and I didn’t want to stop reading.
This is my first time visiting your page! I was so intrigued by your introduction that I couldn’t wait to start “exploring my mind” and “find my Shadow self.”
The amount of detail and imagery you used in your story is incredible. Your author’s notes also did a really good job at helping me understand the symbolism and meaning behind certain things in your story. I instantly recognized the symbol from Black Mirror that your used for the logo. I didn’t realize before that the symbol signifies multiple branching pathways. I also thought the picture you included of Jung’s model of the psyche was very interesting.
Hey Cate! Great job so far on your storybook! I really love the theme and I think the website is very aesthetically pleasing. On each of your pages, the pictures and heading pictures were attention-grabbing and described the story very well. When I read the introduction, I was immediately excited to read the rest of the stories because I wanted to choose my own adventure. This was such a clever idea! When I first entered the Labyrinth, I was immediately excited! This was such a clever, well-written story idea. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and I could really tell you put in some time and effort. I somehow found myself at the top of the stairs again, and I was excited to choose another adventure. I honestly would not change a thing about your story, I loved every part of it. This has been my favorite story yet!
Wow, this was a really interesting read – it’s cool to sort of have a story as an “experience” rather than just a block of text, you know? You did a great job with all of the descriptions throughout the whole thing, and you created some really strong visuals. I was interested in the sort of conglomeration of the Underworld with the Labyrinth, since in their origins in Greek mythology they are separate things. I think you meshed the ideas really well, though, and the mixing of them makes it all the more interesting to me. I do have one critique for you that you might want to consider in the editing stage, though: any time the reader “fails,” they have to go all the way back to the very beginning, with the gatekeeper, which means having to click back through things that you’ve already read multiple times. This becomes a bit monotonous, and made me really want to avoid making “mistakes” – which I think is a little counterintuitive to what you’re hoping to accomplish here. Maybe consider having two options at failure: option one being to return to the most recent gate (i.e. if I fail by blocking rather than dodging in the armor section, I only go back to the beginning of the third gate, not the first), and option two being to return to the beginning as it is now, so that if people want to change all their choices, they can. Anyways, great job, and good luck moving forward!
Hi Cate! I have not had the chance to review your project yet, so I picked it this week. Wow! Your website is absolutely amazing. I love how interactive your project is. The “choose your own adventure” style really lets the reader have a hand in what is happening. I imagine that took quite a bit of time, so nice job! Your introduction does a nice job of giving a good idea about what is to follow, without giving anything major away. I am a little confused as to whether you have separate stories, or if everything in the labyrinth is part of one larger story. Having some separation might make this distinction easier if you were going for separate stories, but I think that what you have really works. I also want to highlight your author’s note. I think that it was a great idea to put it on its own page of the website. Adding author’s notes or bibliography information to the labyrinth story would definitely thrown things off. Nice job!
I’m from the Indian Epics class and I was drawn to your storybook by the ominous title home page. Your storybook was definitely an exciting experience. The Home and Intro do a wonderful job of enhancing the tone with dark pictures and mysterious statements. This is such an amazing idea and I love that you took the time to make this an interactive story. The vivid imagery and details in your story definitely gave me goosebumps while reading it! As soon as I finished the game I instantly wanted to play it again just to see what the other choices lead to! The pages were broken down nicely in a way that created suspense and gave the story a good pace. I love the deep symbolism weaved throughout your story and that you talked about your personal experiences that played into creating this. It was really cool that you referenced Bandersnatch from Black Mirror because I was obsessed with that interactive movie when it came out! I’m glad I found your project because I really enjoyed the experience you created. Well done!
WHY AM I JUST NOW SEEING YOUR STORYBOOK?!
The color scheme, even though plain black and white, goes very well with the overarching theme. I especially enjoy being the character in the story- I think that’s a wonderful element that keeps the reader engaged. You also did a great job with your use of imagery.
I was not expecting the different little stories that occurred when you reach each gate. That was definitely a unique feature.
You’re a very talented writer, no doubt. I enjoyed your storybook!
I love your story. I think that choose your own adventures are a lot of fun and that you did an excellent job with it. I love your choice of using a black background with white letters, it really makes it pop. I also love how you incorporated the links as the ending of the paragraph. It felt like it had so much weight, even though it was the only option that I had. On my first time around I was able to swallow my pride and apologize, but I got killed by choosing to keep the necklace… I think that the story flows really well and I was excited to keep reading and see where every decision took me. I went back to the beginning to see what would happen if I chose to not enter and it just started me from the beginning. I really liked how it did this, because it felt like it was symbolizing that we will eventually have to face our demons, no matter how long we avoid them.
Your “story” (if one even wants to call it that) was so unique to be a part of! I’ve never really enjoyed the whole choose your own adventure style of stories, but you made it work extremely well! The layout of your website was extremely well done, with consistent themes, and beautiful looking texts and backgrounds. The Labyrinth itself was a beautiful read, with the descent into the Underworld highlighting exactly what it means for us to be human – what we experience on a daily basis can come full circle when we reach afterlife. The idea of using a labyrinth as your story/theme was brilliant. Having the story itself be a labyrinth in a sense juxtaposes almost everyone else’s story. I’m such a fan of the way you laid it out – the detail that you used throughout made it that much more real. Hopefully you keep writing stories like this for years to come!
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